Are You Flaking Out On Life?

Flaky people suck.

The types who say they will come to your party, and then don’t show.

The people who commit to giving you a ride, and then they leave you hanging.

The people with endless excuses about how they are “so sorry” or “just couldn’t make it” or “insert another lame excuse here.”

Flakes are people who opt out of life with no good reason.  When given the option to show up, they don’t, and the only person their excuses sound acceptable to is themselves.

Yup, I bet you’re nodding right now because we can totally agree that flaky people suck!

So…. why are we becoming those people?

Why are we becoming the people who don’t show up, follow up, or stand up, to back up our commitments?

When did it become okay to live a life filled with broken promises, ignored obligations, and a shit ton of excuses?

Back in the day, like when your Grandma was throwing dinner parties, flaking out was not an option. You showed up with your covered dish of peas whether you “felt like it” that day or not. Opting out of attending wasn’t something you could do at a whim.

Why?

Because your host would call you out on it. She would have told you that you were scum, a total douche for ditching your plans and made you feel like shit for not showing up with those peas. After all, they counted on you and your little pan of peas to be there.

Flakiness simply didn’t happen because people back in the day laid that guilt on you thick.

Now, we overlook flakiness in our friends, our lovers, and ourselves.

Do we think it’s okay because everyone is doing it? Or have we reached some type of new low in society where we think everyone should just let us off the hook?

Even Facebook gives you the option to flake out on an commitment or an invitation by choosing “Maybe” , and we’re getting to the point where “Maybe” is spilling over into our lives.

Maybe we’ll change jobs.

Maybe we’ll look for another boo…one who treats us better and actually shows up when we need them to.

Maybe we’ll think about making that move that we’ve been wanting to make for years.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Flakiness is a failure to move forward in some way.

Back in the day, your word would have meant something. Now, we automatically accept that “Maybe” is the law of the social land, and that it’s an “get out of commitment free” card instead of willing to see it for what it really is:

A failure to move forward in some way. A willingness to stay committed to being at the fork in the road. Not taking a decision and letting it be wrong or right, learning the lesson either way.

And ultimately not showing up for yourself.

We rejoice in having options and choices, but research has shown over and over again, that when faced with too many choices, we just shut down. We fail to make a decision at all. We back away slowly, and then we run as if we’re being chased by a cheetah.

So, what would you do if “Maybe” wasn’t an option?

What if for every decision you had to make, there was no middle ground, no easy way to excuse yourself from making a choice?  What if there was only “Yes, I’ll be there.” Or “No, I’m not coming.”

What would you do if the only answers you could chose were “Yes” or “No?”

Do you think that would make your life easier?  Why do you think we use “Maybe” as our copt out, anyway?

Leave a comment, tell me what you think!

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