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Last Night I Was Turned On

Last night I thought I was going to have to take off my pants in a room full of strangers.

My face flushed, and I giggled nervously as I tried to plot my escape.

This isn’t some kind of intro to a work of fiction, this was seriously my life yesterday.

I was sitting in the back of the room, so leaving  wouldn’t just be extremely noticeable, it wouldn’t be that easy. I’d have to climb over people to escape, people, who I assumed, wanted to see me drop trou.

I fidgeted nervously in my seat.  My eyes widened when the speaker started to talk about finding your “OM” orgasm, and how the person in the role of “Stroker” would learn the technique then practice it for 30 seconds.

I began to sweat.

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

Around 7 p.m. yesterday, I made a last-minute decision to attend a Meetup group, Women Inspiring Other Women. The event was billed as a night of games and talking about topics that we don’t normally feel comfortable talking about out loud which sounded like a fun challenge to me.

I was picturing a group of women sitting in a circle, spilling all of our secrets. I was prepared to dish about the details of my latest breakup.

I was NOT prepared to take off my clothes, and thank God I didn’t have to.

It turns out that the two ladies leading the program actually do offer a class on orgasmic meditation, but they do that on Saturdays. This was a regular, Wednesday game night. The stripping was more of the “soul baring” variety, but  by the end of it, I felt just as naked.

The games we played were designed to “turn us on” but not sexually. It was more about connecting with who we really are, and how we really feel about ourselves. Here’s the description from their site:

At OneTaste, we believe TurnON is the ignition that leads to a more of what we really want in life. It is the first step to knowing what’s possible. And, it comes when we get real about the powerful stuff of relationships, Orgasm, intimacy, desire, etc.

So, we started an evening event designed specifically to give people the opportunity to feel TurnON in themselves. It’s an evening where, through only talking, we begin to experience these exhilarating, energizing, often ignored feelings — referred to as TurnON. A room of people (cool, fun people) engage in honest, humorous, playful conversation around topics we mostly only consider having in our head.

Let The Games Begin

We played three rounds of Mad Libs, one of which instructed us to say the most vulnerable thing we were willing to tell the group in that moment, and a “Hot Seat” round in which a person volunteered to sit at the front of the room, and answer any question that was thrown at them.

It was amazing.  It was uncomfortable. It was powerful.

I was unnerved by the number of people in the room who said they felt unloved.

People who admitted that they push significant others away in order to guard themselves.

A man who said out loud to a room full of people that he hadn’t had sex in a decade.

And one guy who said he’d recently thought of suicide.

At the end, we did a round where we got to tell anyone in the room a judgement that we had about them.  It could be positive “I think you are sexy” or negative “ You smell weird.” Either way, our only response could  be “Thank you” and after the round we were to let it go and not bring it up again.

One of the group leaders pointed at me, the girl in the back who had initially wanted to run, and she said: “Amber, I want you to know that you are more powerful than you realize.”

Thank you.


Your judgements comments are welcome. I promise I’ll say thank you!


Amber J.

A thirty-something N.Y.C. transplant, Amber J. is a Southern Belle living in an urban space. She developed The Fab Life Project to create a space online where millennials can celebrate the every day adventures while striving to create a life they love.

  • Jo

    Wow. That sounds it could really change things in each person’s head. It’s like combining introspection with action. Inspired to make an opportunity to do something like that myself. Thanks for sharing the story!

    May 10, 2013 at 12:28 pm
    • Amber J. Adams

      You should! It totally changed the way I moved in the world that evening, and the next day, and the next. I’m really into studying vulnerability right now, so this was amazing practice for me.

      May 11, 2013 at 11:02 pm
  • Kenna Williams

    WOW…that sounds insane but in a great way. I think I’d like to do something like that here. I am glad you had a positive experience with that.

    May 4, 2013 at 11:00 am
    • Amber J. Adams

      It was crazy…yet liberating in a totally unexpected way. It was like I took my pants off…metaphorically speaking. lol!

      May 4, 2013 at 12:49 pm
  • Brandi

    It sounds like a very enlightening experience. I’m glad you stuck it out.

    May 2, 2013 at 2:48 pm
  • Marin

    What a brave woman you are to attend such an exciting evening. It sounds very liberating! Thank you for sharing!

    May 2, 2013 at 9:16 am
    • Amber J. Adams

      LOL! I don’t know if I can attest to my bravery, more so my position in the back of the room that made it difficult for me to get the hell out of there! That and my insane curiosity about how this was going to play out!

      May 2, 2013 at 9:21 am