What Made You Jealous This Year? (A Different Way To Set Your New Year’s Goals)

It’s the last day of the year, and my Facebook timeline is filled with the typical “New Year’s Eve” esq posts about goal setting, gratitude, and well wishes.

I’m going to propose something radical for you to do while you are setting your goals for 2014…ask yourself: “What made me jealous this year?”

We’ve all felt jealous of someone or something at some point, but most of the chatter we see around jealously is about helping people figure out how to bury their jealous feelings, and feel appreciative for all that they have.

I’m a total believer in the practice of being in touch with all of the good in your life, but I also think we should shift our perspective on jealousy. Instead of looking at it as a feeling that should be ignored, or glossed over, why don’t we try getting under the hood of what makes us feel that way?

What would happen if you embraced the moments when you have those jealous feelings,  examine it, and figure out exactly what is is in particular that is bothering you so much?

Instead of running from jealousy, and trying to pretend that it never happens to us, revel in it.

I believe having pangs of jealousy are what lets us know that something about our life if off kilter, that we may have some dreams we are ignoring or burying. It’s an undeniable sign that there is more that you want and CAN reach for.

The people I have been jealous of this year have been doing amazing things. Worldwide travel. Launching businesses. Furthering their education. Instead of shrugging off the little green-eyed monster that crops out when I see pics of friends chilling on sandy beaches, I know that it is signaling to me that I need to figure out how I can get my travel flow up in 2014.

Want to know what else made me jealous in 2013?

Career Change Announcements: Man, I love to see people grooving in jobs that speak to them. Really, I love nothing more (except maybe someone starting their own business), but this year I saw a few announcements that made me stop and ponder my own career trajectory. Examining my feelings over this lead me to see that I’ve been fighting a major battle with myself this year in terms of figuring out how to define success for myself (post coming on that later!).

Travel: I mentioned it already, but dude, pics of clear water and sand set off major feelings of anxiety about my lack of travel flow in 2013. This was the first year in a long, long, time that I haven’t traveled anywhere beyond New York, and my home state, Tennessee.

Merging Passion Projects With Careers: Man. This right here got me every time. I’ve been tinkering at it for awhile now, but it has taken me a lot longer than I like to admit to figure out how to create a career that is in sync with who I am, what I love to do, and really reflects my ultimate belief that life & biz is yours to define. Seeing people who have seemingly done this effortlessly definitely made me feel some kind of way!

Feeling jealous is natural, and it is uncomfortable, but why not make something off it? Examining jealously through a different lens, has given way to three areas that I know I want to focus on in the New Year.

So, now it’s your turn: What made you jealous in 2013?


  1. Stephanie says:

    Hi Amber,

    Before setting my goals, I listed everything that made me jealous in 2013. And realized that they are all the things I would like to change in my life. This is a good exercise to complete.

    Thanks for suggesting it.

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