Today is the first day of the last year of my twenties.

I woke up with this feeling that I can really only describe as “grown woman sexy gangsta.

So, in honor of my birthday, allow me to indulge in dispensing a little “29 year-old” wisdom that I woke up with this morning.

I expound in depth on a few of these gems of wisdom, and others I just give you the main point. But I promise I was only drinking peppermint tea when I wrote this.

*Coughs*

That said, let’s dig in:

Eat Cupcakes And Be Merry

Last night, in honor of my bday, my roomie baked strawberry cupcakes with champagne buttercream icing. I grabbed one when I came home, and these things are amazing! And when I texted him this morning to tell him how good they are, he told me “It’s your birthday, eat as many as you want!”

photo

The breakfast of champions.

Now, this time last year, I was damn near starving. I wanted to look good in my birthday dress, and with my random stomach issues, the risk of bloating was real. So I ate super light, worked it out in that dress, and damn near fainted from hunger at the end of the night.

Not this year. This year, when my mind said, “Eat the cake, Amber J!” I complied.

Several times.

So yes, I might end up with a little gut in my dress tonight, but fuck it. Life is short, live in the present moment. Eat the cake and be merry.

Fuck The Lists.

The 29th year has caused many a breakdown. With 30 looming in the (near) distance, there is this pressure to start reflecting on life. And those reflections usually end up being broken down bullet point style into a listicle in your mind.

Eh, eff all that.

Are there some things I’ve accomplished that I’m proud of? Yep. Are there some things I wish I had done differently? Of course. But I think being a grown wo(man) means choosing not to DWELL on those things. Linger too long on the accomplishments and you lose sight of the future. Linger too long on the regrets, and you forget the present. Only one of the three states is truly a gift. Go with that one.

Stop Being “Nice” When You Don’t Want To Be

This one in particular is for all of my ladies who have been groomed to be “nice girls” and live under some type of strict “nice girl” laws that could rival those found in the most oppressing of countries.

You don’t have to be nice a.k.a. accommodating to everyone and everything. You don’t have to pretend that certain situations make you feel some kind of way. You can acknowledge your emotions, and ride the middle road between “nice girl” and “ defensive bitch”. It’s a struggle, but honor who you are, and how you feel in those moments that test your gangsta.

Wear Your Special Panties (Often)

Guys, I don’t know if you have a special pair of boxers that makes you feel all that, but ladies we all know that we have a few pair of “special” undies that we have on reserve for a special occasion. But why? Pop those tags girls, and rock your best every day.

Cherish Those Who Cherish You

Don’t waste your time chasing down people, who can’t be bothered to stop for you, or go out of their way for you. This applies to significant others (who don’t make you feel significant), and so-called friends. At some point you have to realize that energy is an exchange. It may ebb and flow, but it should always get reflected back to you. If you put out the energy, and you aren’t getting anything back, then let it go.

Enjoy What You Have

I’m not so sure about the rest of the world, but in New York, it seems we are always striving to have more, more, more, options of everything. But it is rare to see people getting comfortable and cozy with what they have. Instead of trying to make new friends, dive deeper with the ones you have. Instead of trying to add more people to your network, build the relationships with the people you already know. Your network will grow organically, trust me. It’s lovely to meet new people, and make new connections, but don’t do so at the expense of deepening the relationships you already have.

 Do Shit You Love

There will always be things you “need” “should” and “could” do. Always. But stop to do the things that really get you going. And make no apologies for it.

 

And that’s where I’ll stop too. I’m off to paint my nails and watch Downton Abbey.

Peace!

 

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  • kokostiletto

    Love what you said about the energy exchange. Totally agree!

    • http://thefablifeproject.com Amber J.

      Thanks girl! How have you been?

  • JS

    Amazing – best thing I’ve read all week! Also really hits home b/c I just turned 29 as well! Miss you lovely – hope to see you soon! xox

    • http://thefablifeproject.com Amber J.

      Thank you!!! Take this 29 and roll with it!