There will be those days when you look at your blog, and with a quickness, you shut that tab DOWN. You walk away from your computer, look at it sideways, and find recluse in whatever distracting task you can possibly get your hands on as quick as possible.
Yes, you’ve set goals. Yes, you feel as if your readers are virtually giving you the side eye, because the only thing jumping on your site these days is crickets, but you don’t care about any of that because dagnabbit, you just don’t feel like writing a damn thing.
I feel you my sisters (and brothers). There have been many times when I didn’t feel like writing. Didn’t even want to THINK about writing, and I’d be lying if I said I forced myself to do it anyway. In most cases I didn’t.
But in the good name of all that is delightful, and the shit parade that is about to become a barrage of “New Years Resolution” themed-posts, I wanted you to be prepared.
Introducing, my tips for what to do when you don’t feel like writing a damn thing.
It’s the last day of the year, and my Facebook timeline is filled with the typical “New Year’s Eve” esq posts about goal setting, gratitude, and well wishes.
I’m going to propose something radical for you to do while you are setting your goals for 2014…ask yourself: “What made me jealous this year?”
We’ve all felt jealous of someone or something at some point, but most of the chatter we see around jealously is about helping people figure out how to bury their jealous feelings, and feel appreciative for all that they have.
I’m a total believer in the practice of being in touch with all of the good in your life, but I also think we should shift our perspective on jealousy. Instead of looking at it as a feeling that should be ignored, or glossed over, why don’t we try getting under the hood of what makes us feel that way?
What would happen if you embraced the moments when you have those jealous feelings, examine it, and figure out exactly what is is in particular that is bothering you so much?
Instead of running from jealousy, and trying to pretend that it never happens to us, revel in it.
Back in the day, people kept their side hustle a secret. In fact, the word “hustle” seemed to be a bad word that was reserved for select groups of people (usually with a negative connotation). Now, everyone has a side gig.
Hustling has become the new black.
No doubt, the effed up economy had something to do with the hustle coming in vogue. Gone are the days when you could kick back and dream about your ultimate job while slaving away at your 9-5. Burning the midnight oil on your side gig has become the norm.
Now it is way more acceptable to:
1. Let people know you have a gig on the side (Everyone is a potential customer!)
2. End convo’s with your friend by saying, “Go on girl! Get your hustle on!”
3. Expect everyone to tell you they are a chef/massue/ writer/martial artist
The last point is what I want to hit on. We live in a slash culture. People are rambling off 5 or more things that they are doing, but unless your name is Diddy (which means you really have a ton of other people doing the heavy lifting for your anyways) it is impossible for you to give all of your best time and effort to five different things.
First, a story:
Two Gen Y’ers are having a drink at a local restaurant. Well, one Gen Y’er is. The other one was lured in by the smell of fried chicken. While munching on crispy, fried goodness and sipping a cool ale, respectively, the two twenty-somethings strike up a friendly conversation which (naturally) turns into a discussion about careers.
Gen Y’er #1: I work in finance, but I love to snow board. I wish I lived in California where I can snowboard all of the time. I know I wouldn’t make a ton of money, but I think I would be happy.
Gen Y’er #2: Really? Well, why don’t you move and go snowboard since you know that’s what you want to do?
Gen Y’er #1: Well, how would I explain that to my family? All of my life they told me to get a good job. They won’t understand that I want to snowboard. I’m thinking about applying for grad school in California. My family will support me getting an MBA. Then I can snowboard too!
Gen Y’er #2: You want to go into major debt so that you can justify your decision? Ummm…whose life are you living, here?
This was my Friday night, and I am sure I am not the only twenty-something that had this discussion. In fact, I’m sure this is a conversation between young adults that regularly takes place at bars and restaurants all over the world. I often wonder which is stronger, our fear of personal failure? Or our fear of disappointing our families?
“Why aren’t you taking your dreams seriously?”
This isn’t the question I am posing to you (although I will later), it is the question I asked myself this morning. It was followed by more questions:
“Why am I afraid to just leap? To just do it? To just try something? Anything?”
“Because I am afraid of being rejected,” I answered myself back.
Confession: Yes, sometimes I do talk to myself sometimes. Whatever. I bet you do it too.
Other more important confession: Even though I write frequently about getting past fear, I am sometimes paralyzed by it. And every time I push myself to get past it, to just leap, to just do something, it is an effing celebration.
Why? Because I get scared. I get so scared of asking for what I want; I get scared of people telling me “no” and thinking I am foolish; and I get scared of allowing myself to appear vulnerable.
Those are my deep fears. Those are the answers that creep out when I ask myself why I haven’t been taking my dreams seriously.
Fear is a bitch. And it’s not going anywhere. You have to learn to treat it like an annoying relative you can’t get rid of. You can bargain all you want, but if you want to get past it, you have to make the decision to “just do”.